Tickle A Texan Tuesday

Kirsten Wig is my new favorite. <--Click this to watch.

Watch this video and laugh your whatever off.

Married life and beyond

It's been a while, but the biggest news of course is that Ben and I got married!! We went to the county clerk on September 10 and had a civil ceremony, and then were wed on September 12 at Edward's Mansion. After all the initial stress of last minute details, the wedding went beautifully. I really felt like the style and atmosphere was genuinely me and Ben, that our personalities showed through everything. It was an amazing experience that I am still processing. The only thing I regret is not having my Texas friends out there to celebrate with me.

Sophia, our BEAUTIFUL flower girl and I dancing.

Austyn and Ben, undoubtedly having a moment.

We honeymooned in Portland, which was more beautiful than I had remembered. I was so excited to be in a city with hippies, bookstores, and coffee.

In other news, I'm starting to apply to the University of Texas at Arlington for my MSSW! It's looking more likely that we will still be in Dallas after Ben graduates in December, but if not I'll just apply to whatever school is closest after we move. I'm so excited! I'm calling later in the week to talk with an advisor about which concentration I should go for if I want to work in the hospitals. Not sure if Direct Practice or Community/Administrative concentration would serve me better.

And because I know everyone will ask, I'll just say now that Ben and I don't plan to be having any babies anytime soon. We're planning to wait until we're back in California to start a family, so we can be with our families. However, God doesn't always follow our plans so I guess we will just have to see ;)

Beginnings and Endings

I'm not sure if it's the time of the month or my pending nuptials, but I've become increasingly emotional lately.

Emotions tend to run high when I think on these facts:

I'm living in a state whose weather that I could compare to the weather in Hell.

I'm not working at a place that feeds my passion (Really? You want your latte with less foam? There are starving kids in Africa, there are people without moms. Still want to bitch about your foam?)

I'm not learning about my passion.

Despite all reassurances I remain terrified whenever it rains here.

I'm allergic to it's bugs.

Texas makes me feel alone.

I kept telling Ben: "Between the bugs and the tornadoes, Texas really wants me gone."

It just doesn't feel like home. I didn't particularly love college or all the experiences it had to offer, but God do I miss the familiarity. The people. Feeling safe.

Vacationing in Capo Beach was relaxing, but so difficult to leave. Every time I come home, Mom and I end up sobbing as I leave and I remain in a pissed off funk for the next few days. In CA I feel protected just by the knowledge that there are so many people who could help me within one hour of me. I know being a martyr isn't as attractive as being the stoic wife, but I've never known myself to be very cryptic with my feelings.

I really want to be one of those optimistic people everyone loves to be around, but right now I just don't have the energy. I feel drained and bored and frustrated.

On repeat: "Can't Go Back Now": The Weepies

Yesterday when you were young
Everything you needed done was done for you
Now you do it on your own
But you find you're all alone, what can you do?

You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now

You know there will be days
When you're so tired
That you can't take another step
The night will have no stars
And you'll think you've gone as far
As you will ever get

I can't really say

Why everybody wishes they were somewhere else
But in the end, the only steps that matter
Are the ones you take all by yourself